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Reading Week

27 Feb

Ah, Hello my lovely readers! I know it’s been a while, I feel terrible. Forgive me? .. Shucks, thanks. 🙂

Now that we’re friends again, I suppose I should give ya’ll a little bit of an update right? I do have a deep post coming up this week, but I figured let’s get an update first. I just finished my spring reading week, and let me tell you, it was interesting. The first half of the week I went to Ottawa, saw family, had some appointments, made new clothes (…yes, I’ll post pictures soon), had a pretty relaxed time I guess. It’s really the second part of the week that I want to share with you.

I got to go up to Toronto, and see my best friend whom I haven’t seen since June 2010! I know! I know! I was so excited to go down to get to see her, and I was determined to make it an amazing time. I got off the bus, and what do I do? I walk the wrong way, at like 7pm, with my suitcase, and my purse, and my cane. The wrong way. It finally, after like 15 mins of this that I was defiantly going the wrong way, so I simply called my friend and back I went. It was worth it though, I had fun on my walk.. When I finally saw her it was like nothing had changed. If you ever get to spend quality time with the two of us, you will quickly realize that we are the same person. A few people got to experience this greatness, and I think the world would love to. If I were to ever ask for a twin, I have no doubt in my mind my twin would turn out to be V. I love this girl to death, and all the success she is getting recently just makes me more excited for her. I think I am more excited than her about a few things. I got to see another good friend of mine while visiting, and it was really nice. We got talking, and learned a lot more about each other. It was a really good heart to heart, and it was something I really was in need of.

You know that feeling you get when your brain is just fried, and you’re body is suffering because of it. I find, with myself anyways, that that’s usually a sign I need a good old fashion heart to heart. These are usually hard for me (as you will soon find out), but there is something “safe” about this person that just makes me feel comfortable around them and a willingness to talk. It’s strange to explain, and I hope I did an alright job of it, cause that’s all I’m gonna say. I’ll be touching on this subject again very soon.

Anyways, then the time came for me to return to my little Bdazzle. I found a friend on the bus, a school friend. And I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun on a bus than I did tonight. I don’t know, it was just a really good end to the week. Between Toronto and the bus back, I must say it defiantly made this reading week so enjoyable. 🙂

Show count down: 6 days
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My Girl

24 Jan

Katherine Diane, my KD girl,

I can’t believe it’s been 14 years since I’ve seen you’re smiling face. I wish we could have spent more time together. I wish we could have been there to look out for each other. You could have called out all the stupid boys, and I probably would have listened to you. I could have threatened to beat up any one who picked on you (and you know I would have too). We were suppose to be there for each other.

But sometimes, when I really think about it, I realize you have always been there for me. When things go wrong, I feel you’re presence, and I instantly know what to do. I get to threaten all of the kids for Christina, for you. You are my shining star, and my match made for heaven. You have been the light in some of my dark points, and the hop in my step. I know we would have been best friends.

I wish I could have seen you when I was in Costa Rica, but I know you were there. I wish I could see you at all my performances, even though I know you watch all of them. (By the way, they are all for you, always.) I wish you could be the maid of honor at my wedding, although I know you’ll be there. And through out anything else in my life, I will always wish I could see you, no matter how much I already know you’re watching. You’ve always watched over me, and I know you’re always there. It’s still hard sometimes though. I still cry when I think about you too much, I still talk to you. And I will always sing to you.

You make me want to be a better person, and live out life to the fullest for you, because you couldn’t. And I am so honored to get to say that YOU were my sister.

I really have only one question left, when will I get to go home to see you’re beautiful, shining face?

I will always love you KD.
You will always be in my heart.

Love forever and always,

You’re big sister.

2011

8 Jan

I know it’s been a while since I last posted, but give me a break, it was Christmas time!

I hope ya’ll had an awesome Christmas, New Years, and all that jazz. Mine was pretty decent. I spent my time at home – I know, so cute. And a large chunk of that time was with Dollface. I know, I’m boring. I really didn’t feel like doing much over the break though. School is so hectic, and college life is so crazy, I really just wanted to spend my three weeks relaxing. It was a super nice break, but I’m ready to go back. The past three weeks gave me a lot of time to think about stuff, I really needed it. Now, I’m coming back, better than ever, full speed ahead, and nothing and no one can stop me.

Life is just too short to get caught up in the little things that at the end of the day are not important. If you love something and have a passion for it, you need to attack it at full force, leaving nothing back. And that’s what I plan to do. I don’t want to be one of those old ladies who looks back on life regretting things I wish I had done. So, that’s it.

If 2010 was the year of no fear, then 2011 must be the year of no regrets!

Ps. I got a new tattoo! 🙂

Yonnhe’onwe Kanoronhkwahtshera ‘Love is Everlasting’

Embrace the Change

11 Dec

It’s apart of human nature for people to go through life changes – from starting school, to finishing school, getting married, having children, to dying. These, and many other changes are things we do. But I think that for people to have personality experience life to the fullest they sometimes have to take chances, act on impulses and make life exciting! Once you do that enough, to start to get theses feelings like you “have to” make a changes in your life.

This is me. Growing up we were constantly moving, starting over, all that jazz. By the time I was 10 we had lived in 5 different cities, and at least 10 different houses. So you can imagine what that does to someone. Until a few months ago, I wished I could have had a “normal” childhood, in one house, with one group of friends, ect. But then I understood that growing up with those changes has made me who I am. And as a result of all these changes I now get the feeling every once in a while that I need a change. Last time I had this feeling I was 15, the result of acting on this feeling led me to live in Costa Rica for 11 months. So worth it, right.

Well, now I’m going through one of these periods of change again. I posted earlier this month that I wanted to cut my long luxurious locks to help full fill this need. And since that post there has been so much change in my life. I watched my first scary movie (3 actually!!), I have been making better friendships with a number of people at school, and I know now how to KNIT! That’s only the beginning! There has been so much I can’t even mention it all. I’m loving it. It’s exactly what I need right now. It makes me fill fulfilled.

I was listening to my ipod, and came across this song by Ben Rector (Ready for Change), and I’ll leave you for now with this: “And so what does it take, to start over again. Step out of comfort my friends, yes, and change for the better”

Oh yah.. I cut my hair 😀

Wrong Turn

10 Dec

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook know that a few days ago I started watching my very first scary movie. Ever. In 18 years, I’ve never seen one until Monday. I don’t even know what got into me, I just decided to watch it online. The movie  was called ‘Wrong Turn’, basically it’s about people getting lost in a West Virginian forest, being hunted by hideous in-bred cannibals. Super cute right! I know. I was actually scared, it was scary (I guess that’s the point of a ‘scary movie’). These things were U-G-L-Y! But by the time the movie ended I actually kinda liked it. So, I decided to watch the 2nd one: Wrong Turn: Dead End. It was the same basic story line, except the lost people weren’t just random, they were contestants on a show like Survivor. It was really, really, REALLY dumb. I felt like I was just getting more stupid ever minute I watched. But, by the time it was over, I figured why not watch the 3rd, just to get them over with. Again, same basic story line – but with  students on a camping trip, and jail inmates. This one was just plain funny. It was so dirty and gross that I actually laughed so hard. Overall, the first and last were the best, and I watched a scary movie.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I watched it, maybe it’s just apart of my inner need for change, maybe I’m going crazy, or maybe -just maybe, I’m finally growing up 🙂

Forgiveness.

3 Dec

Lately, I have been going through some stuff between school and home that hurt me. And I’m not going to lie, I can hold a grudge. Usually, I just brush things off, but if you really hurt me, I’m going to remember, and be angry for a while. That’s just me. It’s not the greatest thing in the world, and yah I guess I could work harder at changing that, but if I’m angry enough to not want to forgive someone, I probably have good reason.

I’m on a number of mailing lists, (and yes, this IS relevant.) and one of them that I follow is called ‘The Daily Love’. They send out life quotes, good life quotes, ones that are so good they actually make you think. That’s all they have ever been to me, “good life quotes”. Until today. Today’s was all about forgiveness. The whole thing.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

– Paul Boese, was a Dutch botanist.

“Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.”

– Isaac Friedmann, is an American physicist.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

– Catherine Ponder, minister.

“Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality, and it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally.  To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.  Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself, that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart.”

– Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, best-selling author, speaker and a true inspiration.

I know. It’s all about forgiveness. The more I looked at it, the more I scrolled down. Then I found something I had never seen before. The rest of the email. I had always just stopped reading after the quotes, but there’s so much more! The creator of the site posted a message about how forgiveness has helped so much in his life. Then there was things to say to you’re self (almost like a mantra). I didn’t know what to think then I read all this. I was, speechless. It was exactly what I needed to read. Will it help me forgive without holding a grudge? Probably not. But will it help remind me to forgive? You bet ya’.

Here’s the link to The Daily Love’s site, if you want to sign up for the mail list it’s at the top. You’ll also get the full post from today. And also their twitter name.

thedailylove.com

@TheDailyLove.

I think I have a problem, I think I think too much

2 Dec

I should probably start posting the video to the show my post titles … or not 🙂

Anyways! I feel like I need a change in my life. If it wasn’t for school I would say a move, or something, but since I won’t drop out for this change, I’ve been thinking of other ways to get this. Maybe I’ll go on a trip to somewhere I’ve never been before, or maybe somewhere I miss. Maybe I just need to see my Canadian trio. I think though, the only way I’ll be able to get this change immediately is something a little more (or a little less, depends how you see it) drastic. I think I need a whole new hair style.

Seriously.

I have had long light brown hair for the past 2 years. I use to cut and change my hair all the time. I’ve done many things to my poor hair, been dying it since I was 8, I’ve had long hair, short hair, curly hair, wavy hair, I think I even at one point has straight hair. Blond hair, red hair, black hair, brown hair, crazy extensions, ect. I use to have no shame about my hair. After all, it’s just hair! Don’t like the colour? Re-colour it! Don’t like the cut? Well, grow up and wait for it to grow back! (Although.. I never had to wait very long, I have very quick growing hair) But since a few bad hairdressers in a row (all different might I add) I cut my hair mid-neck length, then let it grow.

And grow.
And grow.

And now I have well this crap of hair. Yah, any hair lovers dream. Long, healthy, holds any style under almost any humidity, ect, ect. But is poofy, and frizzy, and ANNOYING AS HELL long. Straight up. It’s annoying. The last time I cut my hair, I liked it. Looking back on it, it looked really cute, and really good on me. The colour too. Sure, I was a lot more tanned there, but it was close to my natural colour so I don’t think that’s an issue.

I’ve been so in love with this hair for the past 2 weeks, that I can’t stop myself from looking at old pictures of it (not to mention, I was cute there too!!). So, even though I’m probably going to do it no matter what you say, what do you think? Should I go back to my short hair, or suck it up and keep it long?